@Boeing727200F I'd suggest visiting a Graingy outpost. There should be a minor office by Bandit. See if they can get you an appointment at an outpost. From there you might be able to meet with an MS unit. From there, I can't help you.
They'll probably want to know why. And I don't think "terrorism" is a good reason in their eyes.
@JSTQ I see. The translation clearly didn't work out.
I think I see what you mean. The narrative in this short story doesn't really make it sufficiently clear that this is a genuinely superhuman, so it can come off as a more typical dictator. That is, if I'm following what you said right. Not enough is done in this piece alone to make Ivanovna appear a properly different category to the Stalins of history.
I do understand the issue, and therein lies a conflict of sorts.
On one hand, I was trying to get a more "from the ground" view; to this guard the fact that there's a superhuman in charge has become the new normal. There's no reason for her to go over in her head that there's this incredibly powerful being running the country. She has a healthy respect for Ivanovna, but is not constantly internally going over her capabilities. It's supposed to be a much more casual introduction than that. It'd probably have worked if there was more time for the reader to steep in this different reality and truly get a sense for how this world works - and why.
However, the issue with introducing something so different from the norm, but with so many other familiarities to (falsely) latch onto (such as a USSR, humans, government cabinets, etc.), in such a passive way is that without proper emphasis it may not be clear that something is truly, truly abnormal and unlike known life here. As such, the reader sees "dictator", references to great power, but doesn't have it front-and-centre that this "dictator" can't be understood by typical assumptions of humanity.
I knew already that this more read like a first chapter than a short story, though it seems I underestimated how substantially it needs follow-up to appear as I intended it. That is, immediate follow-up, not the "sometime in the future" I'd intended.
Thank you for the feedback, in any case. Definitely going to have to make a sequel to emphasis what this whole affair is about - a superhuman - as on its own it doesn't carry its message effectively within its word count.
...
Actually, this isn't the first thing I've tried to write about this character, or at least the type. I'd started something following Ivan Ivanovich prior, just didn't complete it. Actually following, rather than just someone near him. It was intended to better emphasis his superhuman nature (and more of the weirdness past that), rather than just personality as this one does. Perhaps I should complete it sometime.
@JSTQ Ahh I see. Translators, incredible as they are, can be tricky. I assume the issue is doubly so when the languages are as distant as I presume English and (whichever variant you speak of) Chinese are.
The country it happened in is not as important as the fact that such an entity existing removes all question of their eventual victory; the only real question is how long it will take. Put her in the USA, same end result. UK? Same end result. China? Same end result. Nigeria? Same end result. The USSR just lends itself to this in the shortest space of time. Also, great aesthetic. Absolute vibe. Actually, I feel this older post should make the idea clear enough. While not 100% canon, it'll give you a better idea of what kind of character this is. Or, rather, that they're not a single character. Ivana Ivanovna and Ivan Ivanovich both are, and are not, the same person.
So, Russian Federation? Same end result: a new Soviet State in the entity's image.
Is "absurd" the intended meaning? Or rather unusual? Strange? Unfamiliar? Unlikely? "Absurd" implies ridiculous to the point of being nonsensical. I'm wondering if this is a translator mistake.
please allow me to elaborate on it in a piece of writing.
@JSTQ I don't follow? What do you mean "outstanding researcher"? I also don't understand the bit about comparing Western systems to the Chinese one.
In any case, the "tsar" comparison falls flat on the basis that any monarch or dictator with an Earthly comparison is still human, whereas the president in this story is decidedly not. With familiar dictators, comparisons of divinity are the result of delusion; in this story, while still something of an exaggeration, that's not nearly so far fetched. Not better human, like some conveniently talented statesman (think what cults of personalities peddle: Comrade Stalin, the Glorious Fuhrer, etc.), but inhuman (the misanthropic themes in my writing should become increasingly clear as time goes on).
Thus, I draw explicit attention to how out-there this is in the disclaimer to avoid someone getting the idea that this is an actual proposal or support of despotic systems (as in the Wikipedia definition of the term). Going into background details a bit, the chances of futuristic space aliens coming along and making everything better are orders of magnitude more likely than an entity like Ivanovna coming into existence. To be more precise, it's more likely for a human fetus to mutate into a genetically perfect crocodile by sheer chance than Ivanovna to come into existence. Or, though the exact probabilities are unknown to me, randomly falling through your chair because of quantum tunneling.
Sorry if this sounds defensive, but I'm not too keen on someone getting the idea that I'm advocating Stalinism or support of dictatorships.
All jokes aside, the surface setting of this story is the New Soviet Union.
Is this in reference to my mention of the depiction of Russia being unflattering?
@SHIMO That's annoying and things have been said about it in the past by Moderators.
Unrequested mass tagging is not allowed. I have a personal policy about this.
There's nothing here that pertains to me or requires my presence; no joke or gag or anything of the sort.
Do not tag me without request again. It is a very quick and effective way to attract my ire, whereas previously I would have been indifferent to you.
@JSTQ Indeed. This improved USSR is consequence of a superior being, not vise versa.
I do absolutely understand what you mean by “slow”. This was written first of all Grainthology entries when the “Multiverse snapshot” idea was at its strongest (before the word count climbed and thus complexity), so a careful plot structure wasn’t so much priority. And don’t worry, I scarcely read either; it just isn’t often enjoyable for me.
Starting with the “action” is hardly unique to any one nationality of story, it just wasn’t what I went with. I certainly should try it sometime, though.
but what came out seems even stranger
Curious what you mean by this?
Of course, I can’t say for sure, but I have a good way to verify—Russian?
Or this? Are you wondering if I’m Russian? If so, that would be decidedly false; getting more into this setting hardly paints a flattering picture of the place.
In any case, thank you for taking the time to write feedback.
@Cabbage17 Okay but I’m gonna have to start reading all your comments in a really deep and slow voice like a stupid character in a kids’ cartoon, yeah?
@TheMouse Fair enough, they're a different style and perhaps more closely suited to what most content on this site is - shorter, quicker things.
So it's the whole "something else" that interests? I can see what you mean, personally I try to avoid human characters (in the sense of being actual characters) because humans suck. Staying on Earth just isn't as interesting to some as going somewhere else.
And thank you. Was the confusion cleared by rereading part?
@stroller You have been here for 8 months, I have been here for over half a decade. Of the two of us, you're the one who doesn't understand what this game and site are about.
And this idea of yours that the craft on my account don't work as intended only exposes your ignorance.
Maybe get off this unearned high horse of yours, yeah?
@Ashdenpaw1 The Treehouse is the domain of John the Molester.
He, uh, hasn’t changed his name since the meaning of that word changed. He bothers people a lot.
I cannot work out whether I agree or not.
You cannot tag someone who is blocked, and I figure that completely hiding someone's profile entirely is rather silly; you could simply log off to the same effect (just more annoying). I suppose a case could be made for not seeing their posts (craft, forums), but comments too? That'd just cause confusion as you'd be seeing half of conversations around the site.
Especially true when even the most obnoxious people can have something useful to say.
At the very least, hiding comments would better be an option by the blocker rather than something inflicted upon the blocked; Reddit's block system is not one that'd be wise to imitate.
@Bugati87 Generations come and go, yet I remain still.
Stay with me, why don’t you? See the bright new faces darken in boredom and flee in disinterest, for they are not citizens of this realm; only visitors seeking a fortune of heart they cannot possibly redeem.
Wealth is for the true, never the transient.
@pobondo Whatever happened to Maja I can only wonder, because whoever you are I find much less pleasant.
Will you change your ways, or are you forever bound to be a nuisance haunting this site long past your expiry?
@Rb2h I'm sorry but praising the X-32 as anything other than a circus freak is a crime punishable by being fed to piranhas.
+1@YarisSedan Depends how you define "kid" tbh.
+1@YarisSedan Ah, children on the internet.
+1@Boeing727200F I'd suggest visiting a Graingy outpost. There should be a minor office by Bandit. See if they can get you an appointment at an outpost. From there you might be able to meet with an MS unit. From there, I can't help you.
+1They'll probably want to know why. And I don't think "terrorism" is a good reason in their eyes.
Does it explode when fired?
+1Hm?
+1@Takesan You're overthinking it.
+1Silver rectangle = toaster
Long silver rectangle = long toaster
Still most definitely fundamentally impossible.
+1@GeneralCorpInc Of that, sure, but no one is truly clean of all sins.
+1@MarkTheDesignGuy Once all the pictures of me going to town on a shrimp platter are removed, sure.
+1@ChaseRacliot Great scott
+1@Baby I had to replace one of my old computers after SP stopped running. It was probably about 10 or so years old by that point.
+1I think it likes ring headlights...
+115-20 years in 2022.
+1What.
I'm sorry your computer was how old
+1@Randomplayer @Boeing727200F I suggest you start running.
+1@JSTQ I see. The translation clearly didn't work out.
+1I think I see what you mean. The narrative in this short story doesn't really make it sufficiently clear that this is a genuinely superhuman, so it can come off as a more typical dictator. That is, if I'm following what you said right. Not enough is done in this piece alone to make Ivanovna appear a properly different category to the Stalins of history.
I do understand the issue, and therein lies a conflict of sorts.
On one hand, I was trying to get a more "from the ground" view; to this guard the fact that there's a superhuman in charge has become the new normal. There's no reason for her to go over in her head that there's this incredibly powerful being running the country. She has a healthy respect for Ivanovna, but is not constantly internally going over her capabilities. It's supposed to be a much more casual introduction than that. It'd probably have worked if there was more time for the reader to steep in this different reality and truly get a sense for how this world works - and why.
However, the issue with introducing something so different from the norm, but with so many other familiarities to (falsely) latch onto (such as a USSR, humans, government cabinets, etc.), in such a passive way is that without proper emphasis it may not be clear that something is truly, truly abnormal and unlike known life here. As such, the reader sees "dictator", references to great power, but doesn't have it front-and-centre that this "dictator" can't be understood by typical assumptions of humanity.
I knew already that this more read like a first chapter than a short story, though it seems I underestimated how substantially it needs follow-up to appear as I intended it. That is, immediate follow-up, not the "sometime in the future" I'd intended.
Thank you for the feedback, in any case. Definitely going to have to make a sequel to emphasis what this whole affair is about - a superhuman - as on its own it doesn't carry its message effectively within its word count.
...
Actually, this isn't the first thing I've tried to write about this character, or at least the type. I'd started something following Ivan Ivanovich prior, just didn't complete it. Actually following, rather than just someone near him. It was intended to better emphasis his superhuman nature (and more of the weirdness past that), rather than just personality as this one does. Perhaps I should complete it sometime.
@JSTQ Ahh I see. Translators, incredible as they are, can be tricky. I assume the issue is doubly so when the languages are as distant as I presume English and (whichever variant you speak of) Chinese are.
The country it happened in is not as important as the fact that such an entity existing removes all question of their eventual victory; the only real question is how long it will take. Put her in the USA, same end result. UK? Same end result. China? Same end result. Nigeria? Same end result. The USSR just lends itself to this in the shortest space of time. Also, great aesthetic. Absolute vibe.
Actually, I feel this older post should make the idea clear enough. While not 100% canon, it'll give you a better idea of what kind of character this is. Or, rather, that they're not a single character. Ivana Ivanovna and Ivan Ivanovich both are, and are not, the same person.
So, Russian Federation? Same end result: a new Soviet State in the entity's image.
Is "absurd" the intended meaning? Or rather unusual? Strange? Unfamiliar? Unlikely? "Absurd" implies ridiculous to the point of being nonsensical. I'm wondering if this is a translator mistake.
Pardon?
+1Goodness, that took 20 minutes to write.
+1@JSTQ I don't follow? What do you mean "outstanding researcher"? I also don't understand the bit about comparing Western systems to the Chinese one.
In any case, the "tsar" comparison falls flat on the basis that any monarch or dictator with an Earthly comparison is still human, whereas the president in this story is decidedly not. With familiar dictators, comparisons of divinity are the result of delusion; in this story, while still something of an exaggeration, that's not nearly so far fetched. Not better human, like some conveniently talented statesman (think what cults of personalities peddle: Comrade Stalin, the Glorious Fuhrer, etc.), but inhuman (the misanthropic themes in my writing should become increasingly clear as time goes on).
Thus, I draw explicit attention to how out-there this is in the disclaimer to avoid someone getting the idea that this is an actual proposal or support of despotic systems (as in the Wikipedia definition of the term). Going into background details a bit, the chances of futuristic space aliens coming along and making everything better are orders of magnitude more likely than an entity like Ivanovna coming into existence. To be more precise, it's more likely for a human fetus to mutate into a genetically perfect crocodile by sheer chance than Ivanovna to come into existence. Or, though the exact probabilities are unknown to me, randomly falling through your chair because of quantum tunneling.
Sorry if this sounds defensive, but I'm not too keen on someone getting the idea that I'm advocating Stalinism or support of dictatorships.
Is this in reference to my mention of the depiction of Russia being unflattering?
+1Can I drink?
+1Basically like the AI opponent racers but actually good.
+1Feel like a bright racing airplane-inspired paintjob would do it well, like Voodoo, Rare Bear, or Precious Metal.
+1Damn, that's smooth.
+1@SHIMO That's annoying and things have been said about it in the past by Moderators.
+1Unrequested mass tagging is not allowed.
I have a personal policy about this.
There's nothing here that pertains to me or requires my presence; no joke or gag or anything of the sort.
Do not tag me without request again. It is a very quick and effective way to attract my ire, whereas previously I would have been indifferent to you.
Where's the vampire
+1@JSTQ Indeed. This improved USSR is consequence of a superior being, not vise versa.
I do absolutely understand what you mean by “slow”. This was written first of all Grainthology entries when the “Multiverse snapshot” idea was at its strongest (before the word count climbed and thus complexity), so a careful plot structure wasn’t so much priority. And don’t worry, I scarcely read either; it just isn’t often enjoyable for me.
Starting with the “action” is hardly unique to any one nationality of story, it just wasn’t what I went with. I certainly should try it sometime, though.
Curious what you mean by this?
Or this? Are you wondering if I’m Russian? If so, that would be decidedly false; getting more into this setting hardly paints a flattering picture of the place.
+1In any case, thank you for taking the time to write feedback.
@SuperSuperTheSylph Them passing 100k.
+1Dear lord
+1@SuperSuperTheSylph I can take credit for that.
+1I'm a literal grain of sand and I'm still here.
+1Classic Grain W.
My desire to have the bragging rights of putting someone over 100k is conflicting with this fucking abomination. Unironically.
+1:)
+1I feel like this is the Crab of Boredom of SimplePlanes
+1@Cabbage17 Okay but I’m gonna have to start reading all your comments in a really deep and slow voice like a stupid character in a kids’ cartoon, yeah?
+1@TheMouse Fair enough, they're a different style and perhaps more closely suited to what most content on this site is - shorter, quicker things.
+1So it's the whole "something else" that interests? I can see what you mean, personally I try to avoid human characters (in the sense of being actual characters) because humans suck. Staying on Earth just isn't as interesting to some as going somewhere else.
And thank you. Was the confusion cleared by rereading part?
@stroller You have been here for 8 months, I have been here for over half a decade. Of the two of us, you're the one who doesn't understand what this game and site are about.
+1And this idea of yours that the craft on my account don't work as intended only exposes your ignorance.
Maybe get off this unearned high horse of yours, yeah?
I want sleep :(
+1@Morsele znxnbznbx
+1@Ashdenpaw1 The Treehouse is the domain of John the Molester.
He, uh, hasn’t changed his name since the meaning of that word changed. He bothers people a lot.
Nah, we’re in the pillow fort.
+1I cannot work out whether I agree or not.
+1You cannot tag someone who is blocked, and I figure that completely hiding someone's profile entirely is rather silly; you could simply log off to the same effect (just more annoying). I suppose a case could be made for not seeing their posts (craft, forums), but comments too? That'd just cause confusion as you'd be seeing half of conversations around the site.
Especially true when even the most obnoxious people can have something useful to say.
At the very least, hiding comments would better be an option by the blocker rather than something inflicted upon the blocked; Reddit's block system is not one that'd be wise to imitate.
@KatBapa20 Monarchii is a man in his early 20s.
+1Run.
+1Fuckass potato salad
+1First generation jet fighter with wing-mounted engines, perchance?
+1Adios daddy-o
+1@SuperSuperTheSylph Armistice without peace treaty?
+1@Bugati87 Generations come and go, yet I remain still.
+1Stay with me, why don’t you? See the bright new faces darken in boredom and flee in disinterest, for they are not citizens of this realm; only visitors seeking a fortune of heart they cannot possibly redeem.
Wealth is for the true, never the transient.
@pobondo Whatever happened to Maja I can only wonder, because whoever you are I find much less pleasant.
+1Will you change your ways, or are you forever bound to be a nuisance haunting this site long past your expiry?
hehe boing
+1