QUICK DISCLAMER

I made this out of pure boredom. Don’t judge ;-;

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AMAV-1A Mesostorm

Nickname: “The Booziest Tank of All Time”

The AMAV-1A Mesostorm is a modern battlefield beast developed by Clover Aerospace Division in Tarania. It boasts dual 150 mm rapid-fire autoreload guns, firing a round every 0.2 seconds in thunderous succession. Mounted on the left of the turret are AXRAAM (mainly air-to-air) missiles, and on the turret’s right sits a radar — placed there only because engineers at Clover Aerospace Division, the company that made it, located in Tarania, drank too much Ruskovian V?? O?? D?? K?? A??.

Side skirts protect the treads, and the tank was designed to reach speeds initially over 200 km/h thanks to V?? O?? D?? K?? A??, though electronically limited to a safer 61 km/h.

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Crew

• Driver: Maneuvers the tank with reckless abandon
• SAM Operator: Controls the surface-to-air turret and missiles
• Beverage Specialist: Responsible for coffee, tea, and the crucial V?? O?? D?? K?? A??

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Design Stats

• Top Speed: 200+ km/h (limited to 61 km/h)
• Armament: Dual 150 mm rapid-fire guns, AXRAAM missiles
• Protection: Side skirts on treads, radar turret-mounted due to excessive V?? O?? D?? K?? A?? consumption
• Crew: 3 (Driver, SAM Operator, Beverage Specialist)
• Special Note: V?? O?? D?? K?? A??, because V?? O?? D?? K?? A?? tasty

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Legendary Incident: Drunken Convoy Annihilation

A single drunken driver, fueled by too much V?? O?? D?? K?? A??, destroyed an entire enemy convoy using only the dual guns — then returned home, somehow unscathed (they were promoted).

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Radio Transcript: Ultra Sloppy Drunken Driver & Crew

Driver (Borislav “Boomstick” Koryanov):
“Yooo! Dis is Borislav da Boom! Tanks go brrrraaaap! I’m drivin’ like a squirrel on rocket skates, woohoo! Gimme dem trucks, I’ll make ‘em do da kablam!”

SAM Operator (Sgt. Lena Arvan):
“Borislav, focus! You’re swerving all over the place. Missiles ready if you want ‘em.”

Driver:
“Nahhh, Lenaaaa, guns better! Missiles too shy, guns go pew pew pew, like da party poppers! I’m da tank DJ!”
[Slurs] “Spin dat turret, spin dat boom! Hit da boomspot!”

Beverage Specialist (Cpl. Miko “The Brewer” Barakov):
“Borislav, you already had seven shots of V?? O?? D?? K?? A??! You’re driving like a cat on a bouncy castle.”

Driver:
“Meowwww? Nah, I’m da big lion of da battlefield! Hear me roar… BOOM BOOM BANG!”
[Laughs, nearly drops the radio mic]
“Look at ‘em flyyyyy! Trucks goin’ boom-shaka-laka, like da fireworks on New Year’s Eve!”

SAM Operator:
“You just hit that truck twice... wait, is that a cow? Borislav, please stop!”

Driver:
“Cows deserve BOOM too! Everybody gets da party! Yeeeeaaahhh!”
[Fires wildly]
“Eat my steel spaghetti, you stupid tin cans!”

Beverage Specialist:
“I regret giving him even one shot. Or two. Or three. Heck, all seven!”

Driver:
“Shoooot! Shoooot! I’m da tank ballerina, twirlin’ and whirlin’! Dance, trucks, dance! We do da tango of boom!”

SAM Operator:
“Borislav, you’re talking to the trucks now? This is why they call you ‘Boomstick’…”

Driver:
“Boomstick is da name, causing chaos is da game! Gimme more V?? O?? D?? K?? A?? or I’m shootin’ me own boots off!”
[Bursts out laughing]
“Imagine dat — Borislav walkin’ home with no boots, barefoot dance party!”

Beverage Specialist:
“Please don’t. Just please don’t.”

Driver:
“Tank’s got da groove, I’m da DJ of destruction! More brrrrap brrrrap, less thinking, more BOOM!”

SAM Operator:
“Enemy convoy is in pieces. You’re basically a one-man wrecking crew.”

Driver:
“Yeahhh! I’m da messiah of mayhem, the sultan of splash and crash! Tanks and V?? O?? D?? K?? A??, da perfect combo!”

Beverage Specialist:
“Somebody save me. Please.”

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Enemy Radio Intercept (Expanded)

“What the hell is that? One tank, and it’s laughing while shooting?!”
“They said ‘boozed up and dangerous’ — didn’t think it was literal!”
“Convoy wiped out, men are running scared. Send reinforcements!”
“He’s a monster…and a legend.”
“Did you hear that? He’s yelling something about boots and dancing!”
“Missiles incoming! Wait, no—just more gunfire, nonstop!”
“How is one man causing this much chaos? It’s like he’s possessed!”
“We need air support, therapy, and amnestics. QUICK.”
“If we survive this, I’m never touching Ruskovian V O D K A again.”
“Hold positions! Do NOT engage solo without backup!”
“That tank’s name is Mesostorm? More like the apocalypse on wheels.”
“Command wants video feed of this ‘Booziest Tank of All Time’—if anyone lives to tell.”

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