DeeganWithABazooka's RP

KNOCKOFF EARTH!!

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Nachricht Regionale
Special Report – May 1948 | Voice of the Coastline
Independent News for Independent Jerry

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Chains of the Sea: Unity Ding-Dong's Cruel Blockade Suffocates Coastal Life and Jerry's Action

Northern Coastline, No-see Jerry – The waves no longer sing, they choke. For the past two weeks, the once-bustling shores of No-see Jerry have fallen under the iron grip of Unity Ding-Dong’s naval blockade. What began as a military tactic has become an act of systemic cruelty that punishing not soldiers, but the very soul of our nation: the people.

Across the fishing villages of Nordsee, the merchant harbors of Küstenhafen, and the tranquil bays of Öststrand, livelihoods are crumbling beneath the weight of warships.

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Fishermen Starving While Nets Rot Empty

Fritz Baum, a fourth-generation fisherman from Greiffhafen, stared at his dry-docked boat with tears in his eyes:

“My father sailed this boat during storms and famine. But he never faced guns in the horizon that shot at the sea itself. The fish are plenty, but we are banned from reaching them.”

Nets rot. Children go hungry. Salted fish stores dwindle. The lifeline of thousands has been severed by Unity Ding-Dong’s warships.

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Merchants Silenced, Markets Empty

No longer do the spice barges from the South arrive. No longer do the engines of industry hum with imported parts and minerals. Trade has ground to a standstill, as Unity Ding-Dong's blockade forces even neutral ships to turn back or face boarding, seizure, or worse.

Elsa Mür, a merchant cooperative leader in Westhafen, cried out during a town gathering:

“We are not combatants. We are not threats. But they starve our children, silence our trade, and punish our peace.”

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Let the World See

Unity Ding-Dong’s ships may rule the waters, but history will record this as a siege of shame. They have made enemies not with bombs, but with hunger. Not with bullets, but with silence. And one day, that silence will break, with a roar louder than any cannon.

To Unity Ding-Dong: End the blockade. End the cruelty. Or face a tide far greater than the sea.

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Steel from the Shadows: No-see Jerry Strikes Back at the Sea Blockade

Northern Waters, North Sea – For weeks, the people of No-see Jerry watched the horizon darkened by the cruel blockade of Unity Ding-Dong. Warships loomed. Trade stopped. Fishermen wept. But last night, as the moon vanished behind a stormfront, the sea spoke—and this time, it roared with the vengeance of a nation no longer silent.

Operation Eisentief (Iron Deep) has begun.

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U-Boats Unleashed: The Return of the Wolfpack

In the dead of night, many U-Boot, long believed dormant in hidden fjords, launched from covert coastal pens. Armed with manual guided torpedoes and acoustic cloaking, these vessels slipped beneath the blockade like shadows in oil.

At 01:42, the first strike came: Unity Ding Dong's cruiser was split in half, its wreckage glowing red as it sank into the abyss.

Their ships that dropped their anchor became easy targets for torpedoes, and the newly awakened crew couldn't do much about the submerged enemies.

By dawn, Half of Unity Ding-Dong ships in the area lay in ruins. The sea that once held Jerry hostage now holds the bones of those who thought themselves the strongest.

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The Teeth of the Coast: Artillery Awakens

Atop the cliff-faces of Nordwall and Heldenstrand, coastal batteries long kept in reserve thundered to life. Using enhanced radar guidance from the WeltNet grid and fed by real-time targeting data from recon planes, cannons painted the seas with steel.

Waves of naval shells lit up the night. Witnesses from nearby villages said the earth trembled as 40 km-range bombardments ripped into the blockade line.

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Sea Mines and Saboteurs: Traps of Precision

No-see Jerry naval engineers deployed a web of pressure-sensitive magnetic sea mines, camouflaged with kelp and debris, around key blockade choke points. Several enemy ships were reportedly damaged or immobilized by “phantom detonations.”

Meanwhile, Schattenschiff commandos, Jerry’s elite naval saboteurs, boarded enemy command ship using stealth skiffs, planted charges, and vanished before alarms could sound. Two vessels exploded in coordinated blasts at 03:00, causing chaos among Unity’s command lines.

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Message from the Ministry of Defense

In a short but fiery broadcast, General R. Wright declared:

“Let it be known, our coasts are not cages.
Our silence was not surrender.
The sea belongs to no tyrant, and we will take back every wave they tried to steal.”

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Tide Turned: What Comes Next?

Analysts believe the blockade has now been fatally compromised, with UDD's forces forced to retreat further offshore. Supply lines to the mainland have begun moving again under heavy guard. Morale in coastal cities has surged.

From a position of siege, No-see Jerry has seized initiative. The enemy thought the waves would drown us.
But instead, they awoke the storm.

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End of Dispatch.