Profile image

[Knockoff Earth] Jerry's Help

32.7k RB107  2 months ago

Nachricht Regionale
April 7, 1947
Independent News for Independent Jerry


JERRY'S STRIKE FOR SPIN

By Nachricht Regionale Correspondents

BERLIEN, NO-SEE JERRY – No-see Jerry has unleashed a formidable arsenal to support its ally, the Republic of Spin, in its escalating conflict against the Unity of Ding Dong. Driven by a longstanding mutual defense pact and Spin’s vital economic contributions, Adult Himler has authorized a strategic offensive, deploying thousands of KSR-1 rockets and hundreds of Type 1 U-Boats to bolster Spin’s war effort while steadfastly avoiding direct ground engagement.

KSR-1 rockets have bombarded Ding Dong’s major military base, air base and military port with devastating firepower. Their speed, unexpected trajectories, and compact size make them nearly impossible to intercept, outmatching traditional bombers. Meanwhile, Jerry’s Type 1 U-Boats have sealed Ding Dong’s coastlines with an impenetrable blockade, halting all maritime traffic. Jerry navy issued a global advisory: any vessel entering the conflict zone will be treated as hostile aiding the war effort, regardless of its type or cargo it have, a measure to protect civilian lives and minimize collateral damage.

In a resolute address, Himler reaffirmed No-see Jerry’s commitment to Spin while emphasizing restraint. “Our alliance with Spin demands action, but we seek no conquest in Ding Dong,” he declared. “The safety of every Jerry citizen is my foremost duty.” By limiting involvement to rockets and submarines, Himler ensures no Jerry lives are risked in ground combat. He urged de-escalation, expressing hope that Jerry’s actions will not strain ties with other nations, but warned sternly: “If a single Jerry citizen is harmed, those responsible will face our unrelenting justice.”


QUESTIONS SWIRL OVER IKB-100 BOMBER EFFECTIVENESS

BERLIEN, NO-SEE JERRY – IKB-100, No-see Jerry’s flagship bomber long hailed as invincible, has come under scrutiny following reports that several units sold to Republic of Spin have been shot down in recent conflicts with the Unity of Ding Dong. The unexpected losses have sparked debate about the aircraft’s vaunted reputation, prompting a response from No-see Jerry’s scientific community.

In a measured statement, Jerry engineers dismissed claims of design flaws, attributing the downed bombers to operational differences. “The IKB-100 remains unmatched when used as intended,” a lead scientist explained. “The Republic of Spin employs distinct tactics, crew training, escort formations, and mission conditions compared to No-see Jerry’s strategies that maximize the potential of IKB-100 .” The bomber, optimized for nighttime raids under operations like Black Curtain, may lose its edge in daytime missions, where visibility and enemy defenses pose greater challenges.

After delivering their answers, Jerry scientists also extended an apology to those affected by IKB-100’s use. “We regret any harm caused by our creation and reaffirm our commitment to supporting our allies responsibly,” the statement read. The response underscores No-see Jerry’s confidence in the IKB-100’s capabilities while acknowledging the complexities of wartime application.


_Himler’s calculated strategy, lethal yet restrained, underscores No-see Jerry’s technological supremacy and diplomatic nuance. As the world watches, Jerry stands firm, honoring its ally while safeguarding its people.

Nachricht Regionale remains dedicated to unfiltered reporting. Follow our coverage for updates on this critical conflict._


  • Log in to leave a comment
  • Profile image
    66.3k TheMouse

    Jerry (the other mouse) is a friend of mine.

    Pinned 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    6,072 voytek

    Great.....firstly this war started on me and yourpan then on spin.....then what... The whole your-up

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image

    Oh damn

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    70.2k B1BLancer

    Churro Zapato sends an official and personal thank you message to all of No-See Jerry for their support throughout this conflict. We thank you for supporting us and weakening our enemy into submission without maximizing casualties

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image

    @RB107 I did get tagged? But I looked down there? I think I'm seeing things guys.

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    @RepublicofWrightIsles I'm pretty sure I tagged you already =]

    2 months ago
  • Profile image

    I'm your head of defense and you don't tag me?

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    66.3k TheMouse

    @RB107
    I am always up for 🧀🧀🧀

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    @TheMouse Wassup, my fellow whisker-twitcher? Ready to scurry up some cheese? 🧀

    +1 2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    Bell-Lands
    @SPWithLizzie
    Republic of Swisher-Man
    @voytek
    Republic of For-Rants
    @keiyronelleavgeek566

    2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    Republican S-Paint
    @B1BLancer

    Kingdom of Pole-Land
    @BigHeadEngineering

    Republic of Nether-Jim
    @AviationLoverGEEK444

    2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    Unity Steaks
    @Bugati87

    Unity Ding-Dong
    @UnitedinOne90XCVBNKA

    No-see Jerry Head of Defense
    @RepublicofWrightIsles

    2 months ago
  • Profile image
    32.7k RB107

    Socket Onion
    @DeeganWithABazooka

    Republic of Kinda
    @IAmSteve

    Celestial Empire
    @LunarEclipseSP

    2 months ago